The Truth About Why Intelligent, High-Performing Women Fall For Toxic Partners

The Truth About Why Intelligent, High-Performing Women Fall For Toxic Partners Ever wonder why your best friend a total genius with the biggest brain and warmest heart is dating some loser in your eyes who doesnt treat her nearly as well as you know she deserves? Or why your colleague whose shoes you dream of filling someday comes to the office every morning complaining about her husbands absolutely cringe-worthy behaviors?How in the world did ansicht smart, successful women end up in such toxic relationships?Well, research says that these types of women are actually mora likely to become addicted to toxic men than others. In other words, the people youd never expect to fall for those who treat them horribly are... usually the ones who do.So why do women with such high standards in seemingly every other aspect of their lives seem to have such low standards in relationships? Its a lot more complicated than youd think and in the end, it has next to nothing to do with low standards ( or weaknesses) after all.1. High-performance women are willing to put in the work.Successful women are successful because theyve put in the work. They know that commitment reaps rewards, and they apply that same attitude in their relationships. Putting in the effort in other parts of their lives has usually gotten them the results theyre after why would love be any different?Generally, you will transfer this understanding without even thinking about it that chances are if you work hard on your relationships, theyre going to be good, psychologist and executive coach Perpetua Neo told In other words, high-performance women tend to just keep giving and giving and giving...2. Toxic men tend to target powerful women.Successful women arent weak rather, theyre targets for all reasons that theyre actually the opposite of weak.Its a common misperception that these men go for weak women its quite the opposite these pathologically self-centered guys want a strong woman who has a lot to give , writes Huff Post contributor and founder and CEO of Date Like a Grownup, Bobbi Palmer.So why do narcissistic men prey on powerful women? Palmer says its because these types of men look for women who can constantly stroke their surprisingly fragile egos. They also want someone steady and strong they can count on to take care of them particularly someone empathetic to attend to their child-like needs and someone smart who they can prove theyre even smarter. They also tend to want self-sufficient women so they dont actually have to take care of the womans needs, she says.What do these women get in return? The quintessential alpha male who is exciting, fun, charming and witty, she says, which of course complicates things. Hes funny, intense and, when you are with him, there is never a dull moment. You feel he gets you. You have chemistry and feel high from his attention. For a while, anyway.3. Their sex lives are blinding.Its easy to become blinded by love and, frankly, good sex. Thi s is especially true because most people dont show their true, toxic colors right off the bat and if a relationship starts off as a loving, mutually beneficial and growth-oriented one, its difficult to admit it when that relationship takes a sour turn (especially for strong-headed women who tend to be fixers).Toss satisfying sex into the mix, which builds chemistry, and an unhealthy relationship can quickly become a toxic one. Thats because studies overwhelmingly show that men who possess the Dark Triad personality traits (narcissism, psychopathy and Machiavellism) are adept at beginning new relationships. They have a greater willingness and ability to compete with their own sex and, thus, mate more.Meanwhile, women tend to demonstrate dueling desires a loving and committed partner and an attraction to men with darker personality traits, usually for the shorter term. In other words, womens innate sexual selection comes into play and strong women who are in touch with and confident in their sexuality may pay more mind to that.--AnnaMarie Houlis is a feminist, a freelance journalist and an adventure aficionado with an affinity for impulsive solo travel. She spends her days writing about womens empowerment from around the world. You can follow her work on her blog, HerReport.org, and follow her journeys on Instagram her_report,Twitterherreportand Facebook.